• Destiny Neekole

6 Facts about Me

Updated: Mar 11

I’ve lost 250lbs

At my highest weight I weighed 520lbs, I was 18 years old. Now at the age of 31 I weigh just under 270lbs. At my lowest weight, I was 230lbs. Over the course of the pandemic - March 2020 for me to current - I sustained my weight for close to a year now, a personal first. In this period of time I’ve learned just how much self acceptance and compassion can affect the body. It was when I poured love into myself that I saw the most changes in my body. It was the times where I continuously showed up for myself even when it was hard, lonely and felt impossible. Through loving systems and compassionate processes I am now the healthiest I have ever been. I have a healthy relationship with food, exercise and myself.

I got pregnant on birth control

Through all of my research leading up to gastric bypass it was clear that proper birth control was necessary after surgery. See, the reproduction organs inside those who carry children tend to slow and sometimes shut down when there’s excess weight on the body. Once the body is a smaller size and the weight has been removed, fertility tends to not only come back but comes back in excess. While on the birth control pill, shortly after losing 150lbs, I got pregnant due to my fertility overpowering the strength of my birth control pill.

I married a man

I got pregnant while I was a preschool teacher for a bunch of wonderful toddlers. Unfortunately, my insurance was not enough to cover the expenses that come with carrying a child. Lured by the idea of safety and security I married my child’s father in January of 2017, five months before my daughter was born. What seemed like a secure and safe decision ended up being a lesson and a chance for growth.

I moved at the beginning of the pandemic

March 15, 2020 I packed my bags and my daughter up and moved in with my partner in Chicago, IL. It was the weekend before Chicago entered quarantine and it was not fully expected. My partner and I had loosely planned for me to quarantine with them instead of my child’s father, which at the time lived in an unfit environment. It’s now February 2021 and my partner and I are searching for a bigger apartment to house us and our toddler. Girl’s tribe.

I never knew my father

My mother met my father in her late twenties and got pregnant with me at 30. My dad had lied to my mother about being a single man. In fact he was a longtime married man with two adopted children because he medically couldn’t conceive children - sterile. Except, well me. Through an extensive time in court I was found to be 99.97% his, though this didn’t mean much in the way of being a father and stepping into the role. I never met him before he died when I was 18. I received a message from my mother while working that he had died of cancer and that the funeral was some time the week before. I was mentioned in the paper as one of his children along with a deceased son and an incarcerated one. The first time I saw a photo of my father was in my late twenties when my one step brother reached out to me. Surreal to say the least to see someone who brought you into this world and yet had little to do with your existence.

I’m bipolar

More specifically I'm Bipolar I, meaning I have less severe symptoms of someone with Bipolar II. I navigated a large portion of my life being undiagnosed and unmedicated. I didn’t find out until I was 24 years old living in Missouri. My roommate had a psychiatrist and I was going through a bout of depression. In one visit I was told I was bipolar and started medication shortly there after. That was 7 years ago and I’ve been treated and medicated the entire time. My depression is still rough but I have an amazing support team, starting with myself. The manic episodes haven’t reared their head in some time now, for which I am immensely grateful.

Bonus: I have inattentive ADHD

I was a late diagnosis at the age of 31. It was both an incredible revelation and one weighed with resentment and confusion. For years I've navigated the symptoms of ADHD without any intervention. With the help of my therapists, trial and error, medicine management and above all else - Compassion, I am happily thriving. I'm not only pr